While it’s totally possible to elope with family or invite a few friends to your intimate ceremony, for a lot of couples a “just us“ elopement experience just feels more like them. But, there are a few things that stand in some couples’ way – the fact that marriage licenses often require an officiant and two witnesses to sign, and the fact that a lot of people just have trouble envisioning what a “just us“ day can look like! That’s where this guide comes in – we’ll talk about self solemnization and what that means, how to get married without an officiant or any witnesses, and how you can elope, just the two of you!

What is Self Solemnization?

First, did you know that it’s possible to elope and get married without an officiant? Self solemnization means that you can get married, legally and all, without having an officiant or any witnesses present at your ceremony! This is great for couples who want to have a “just us” elopement experience, and allows you to celebrate your wedding day exactly the way you want to.

Perks of Self Solemnization

Self solemnization is a really great option for couples who want to elope without any guests, and who want a truly private day. The first major perk of self solemnization is privacy – you don’t have to hire an officiant or have someone get ordained, so when you exchange vows it’ll be just you and your partner (and of course, your photographer, but I promise to use a zoom lens and give you space)!

This privacy also means that you don’t need to worry about meeting up with an officiant, or coordinating with anyone. If you’re eloping in the backcountry, or you’re visiting a national park or any outdoor area, you may not always have service, and it might be difficult to get in touch. So, if you self solemnize, you won’t need to stress about this!

Not having to meet up with a hired officiant also means that you can have your ceremony anywhere! Of course, this can depend on your location and whether you have a permit for a certain spot or timeframe, but when you elope just the two of you, you have more freedom to just walk around until you find a spot and decide that this is where you want to get married, or to be spontaneous and go with the flow. For a lot of couples, this feels a lot less stressful than sticking to a strict schedule!

How Do You Self Solemnize, and Elope With No Officiant?

So self solemnization exists, but aren’t you required to have an officiant sign your marriage license? And what about the witnesses?

There are a few states in the US where you can legally self solemnize – where your marriage license actually doesn’t require an officiant or any witnesses! Colorado is a really popular place for elopements because couples can do just that, and Washington DC also allows self solemnization without any stipulations. There are a few other states that allow self solemnization in some cases, such as religious exceptions, but it is a little bit more complicated than it is in Colorado or DC.

But, good news – even if you’re not tying the knot in any of these places, you can still have a “just us” elopement experience, and get legally married while you’re at it! You won’t get around the fact that your marriage license requires an officiant and two witnesses, but there’s a way to do both. 

As an elopement photographer, I know how important privacy and freedom is on your wedding day, and I understand that you’re looking forward to a day that’s about just the two of you, and that you want to focus on each other. While I don’t perform ceremonies (no love sonnets or Shakespeare poems from me), I am able to legally sign your marriage license, and officially marry you!

Many states also require witnesses – most require two, but a few require one or don’t require them at all – but, don’t worry! There’s a way to get those witness signatures without having to invite guests to your elopement. When I’m exploring with my couples, so many of them simply find two people on the trail, in the parking lot, or anywhere else they go on their elopement day and just ask them to sign their marriage license! The only legal requirement is that your witnesses are over 18 years old, but any adult is able to sign your marriage license to make things official. People are always so excited to help out and sign the marriage license, so it’s easy to find witnesses! If you have a hair and make up artist, a videographer, or any other vendors, you can also ask them to sign for you.

What Does a “Just Us“ Elopement Day Look Like?

A lot of couples also have trouble envisioning what they’ll do on their day if they don’t have any guests! Gone are the days when an elopement was just a 15 minute ceremony and a few photos – so when you elope just the two of you, you can absolutely have a day packed full of joy, wonder, and adventure.

How to Have a Self Solemnizing Ceremony

Elements usually include a ceremony, but what does that look like when you don’t have an officiant? Instead of having someone stand up there to say a few words and tell you when to exchange “I do’s,” you just exchange your own vows with your partner! 

Most couples write their own vows and read them at the ceremony, then exchange rings, and seal the deal with a kiss. There are also a few ways to personalize your ceremony, like doing a unity ceremony (like tree planting, sand pouring, candle lighting, or anything else you can think of to celebrate the two of you coming together), and you can add any religious, cultural, or family traditions that you’d like. Or make up your own thing! You can give a gift to your partner, serenade them with the song you wrote, surprise them with something they weren’t expecting, or anything you can possibly think of. Remember, there are no rules when it comes to eloping!

A “Just Us“ Elopement Day

The ceremony is just one part of your elopement day, but what do you do for the rest of it? The short answer is – anything you want! But the long answer is that there’s so much you can do on your elopement day, and it should be about celebrating your unique love, your unique story, and starting your marriage together in a way that really reflects the two of you.

You can spend the morning taking it slow and getting ready for the day together, you can go hiking, you can kayak, you can get pizza from your favorite place, you can hang out with your pets, and you can do anything and everything that you want on your wedding day. I can nearly guarantee that when the day comes, you’ll be surprised at how fast time actually flies by! For some more ideas for your “just us” elopement, and an overview of what happens on an elopement day, check out this guide! 

Ready for a “Just Us” Elopement Experience?

As your elopement photographer, my job is to help you plan a perfect day. So even if all you’re thinking right now is “I have no idea what we want to do,” I’m here to help! Every couple that works with me gets personalized planning assistance, from location scouting, recommendations for things to do, recommendations for places to stay, and of course, I can double as your officiant for a truly “just us” day.

If you’re ready to elope just the two of you, and you want to start planning your one of a kind, adventurous day, contact me! Though my partner and I had a few guests on our elopement day, when we downsized from the big wedding we were originally planning, we made sure that we focused on each other and our experience together – every couple deserves that, so let’s talk about what would make your day absolutely perfect for you!